Many people have asked me why I am packing up and hitting the road. Literally, I am leaving behind everything I know, my daily routine, my normal, and the commitment to the life I have enjoyed for so long. Funny thing about that, nothing ever stays the same. In life, you can guarantee that change is inevitable. So yes, to be honest, this whole change thing is weird. You could consider it the worst timing ever, or not. I’ll continue to choose the latter.
Fear of the unknown is real. I cannot deny that change is intimidating. However, what I can say with certainty is that adventure is an amazing thing. I have a feeling that even when fear accompanies these decisions, a year from now I will be glad I made the leap.
Two things that made the decision a bit heavy to make, are my work and my people.
I have an amazing career with many perks. I have the opportunity to serve patients and stay elbow deep in the medicine that I love, (shout out to Urology, of all of the specialties I have overseen, the love for my Uro team runs deep). After doing this job for twelve years, it is pretty apparent that I have a huge amount of enjoyment for the work I’ve done. So what if I get to Montana and I never land a job equal to the one I have now? Good question, I might not. However, I am not afraid of many things and I am sure I’ll figure it out.
Reason number two; leaving my people, the humans who I love most, will be hard. So here’s the deal, I am hopeful that I can convince some to follow me. For the others, we will create really awesome memories of traveling to visit each other. Still, I wont make light of it, missing my people will be hard, but I refuse to live with regret. Not moving would be just as big of a regret, and I know that this city life just isn’t for me.
So why now? After talking about this for a decade, I realized it will either happen or it wont, but I am the only person stopping it from coming to fruition. In 2005 Dusty and I declared that Missoula, Montana was the place. It was the bees knees, and we proclaimed it would be our destination one day. To be honest, I am really glad we didn’t just pack up and go back then. I still had a lot of life lessons left to learn and making the decision shouldn’t be an easy one to make.
After all these years passed, I realized that comfort and contentment are two separate things. I have comfort and security in my job, my finances, and my marriage, (being married is RAD, by the way). But what I don’t feel is contentment with is my lifestyle. City living just isn’t for me. I am not content with traffic, lack of parking, and the unfortunate crime rate that seems to continually creep up. You know, there is this weird phenomenon that occurs when your hometown turns into the suburbs of a big city, especially when it is a sanctuary city. Suddenly the parking lot of Trader Joe’s no longer feels comfortable to stroll through. Perhaps there is a tiny amount of chaos in all parts of the country, however there is a wonderful small town feel in Montana, even in the biggest city.
So I wont chalk this move up to timing, unless you look at it that the time spent living in a city that doesn’t feel like home is time wasted. In that case, the time is now. I am not willing to allow the fear of the unknown outweigh the benefits of an adventure.
What I do know is that happiness is a choice, hard work always pays off, and difficult tasks are the ones you appreciate most. On the my longest, tiresome days, I choose happiness, adventure, and living.